Master… of your own heartbeat. (Ben Howard)

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. ― Albert Einstein

Would you humor me and marinate on that for a bit?

I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.

Thank you, Albert. I truly couldn’t have said it better myself. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I am an intensely passionate person. It’s sometimes difficult to manage. I’m all nerves. I vibrate on a different frequency than most.

Good conversation: talking about art and poetry, books and music ― that’s true soul food, baby.

Indulging in a “do nothing” afternoon at the park on a perfect summer day ― that instills an impossibly joyous peace in me. I can ride that kind of gentle high for a week.

Sunsets move me to tears. Not once in a while, but all the time. There’s something about a fiery orange sky that makes me feel finite and even insignificant and yet, so abundantly blessed. I take in each sunset as though it were a gift just for me. I am grateful for my extra sensors, but I do find myself having to explain why the littlest things are so miraculous. While many appreciate a sunset ― I have a religious experience.

And when most are rushing about on a beautiful day, I instinctively slow down and soak up every single ray of sunshine goodness.

And while some may hear a song, I FEEL it saturate through my entire being.

I mentioned in a previous post [HERE] that Ben Howard was my very favorite of all my favorites. His writing parallels the essence of who I am, and his music has a magnetic and insatiable draw for me. I genuinely love every single song of his, but this one . . . this one turns me inside out. Oh, and India and her cello? Beyond lovely.

My response to this song is HIGHLY emotional. It comes in three phases. First I feel my heart e x p a n d to allow for more light, more love. I need this expansion to increase my ability to appreciate. Second I’m assaulted by a choking sorrow. This I can’t explain. Maybe I’m just sad for those who can’t connect so strongly with music, art, expression, beauty. And thirdly I’m overwhelmed by a palpable calm. During each of these phases I’m simultaneously tingling from head to toe with the most satisfying gratitude. I embark on this journey with each listen.

“Every word you burn to write is a mark that you must own.” GET OUT OF MY HEAD, BEN HOWARD. 🙂 Those are my sentiments exactly.

March 18th Update: I was finally able to witness this song live. I requested it and Ben was a perfect gentleman about playing it. “Wow, you wanna hear ‘Master’? No kidding? Yeah, I’d really love to play that.” Be still my beating heart. It was INCREDIBLE. (video and some truly stunning photos can be found HERE)

[lyrics] If the devil came, I beg your pardon, for I have not seen him  Seems the cause of pain causes silence, won’t you let me in? Cause every man I’ve seen to fight, he fights himself alone, and every burden, every stripe, is a lesson to behold May he come, to see that I have grown, may he come, and battle me alone If the devil came, I beg your pardon, for I have not seen him  Seems there’s any range you go on hiding, fuel the fire within Cause every hand I’ve learned to bite, is a harvest that I’ve sown And every word you burn to write, is a mark that you must own. May he come, to see that I have grown, may love come and dance within your bones May love come and dance within your bones Master of your own heartbeat be the change that you long to see Master of your own heartbeat, may the sun that shines, shine for thee May the sun that shines, shine for thee Oh come on child, oh take it as it is We’re all here for a little while, with the stones and the sticks Well come on child now, oh don’t be scared of this Well life is still a blessing, we all ruin we all reach And come on child, oh don’t be scared of this Oh life is still a blessing, we all ruin we all reach We all reach…

(I won’t swear to the accuracy of these lyrics, but with the help of a friend and fellow music lover, this is the best we could do.)


12 comments on “Master… of your own heartbeat. (Ben Howard)

  1. A hidden track just when I thought I’d burst from longing of more Ben Howard. I had an equal love affair with Bon Iver’s “For Emma, For Ever Ago” but no, I don’t think you can compare. Music truly is what feelings sound like.

  2. You’re right. I love Ben Howard! Thanks for sharing girl. I just found him on Spotify and can’t wait to hear more.

  3. I love the way you explained this, and I know precisely how you feel. Ben Howard is really just other worldy. Any chance you have the links to the other three hidden tracks? I’d love to know what they are.

    • Hello, Sara! Pleased to make your acquaintance. Sadly the other hidden tracks are not of Ben Howard, but if you are still interested, here they are:


      OK GO



  4. Hey, do you have the lyrics of this song? I truly love this song as well. 🙂

    • I’m so sorry, I don’t! I’ve tried to write them out a couple of times, but there are a few lines I’m not sure about. Maybe I’ll give it another go. There are a few more recordings available now (since I posted this a year ago), I’ll see if I can figure it out! 😉

      • Thanks! I’ve just come to realize how beautiful the message of this song is. Hadn’t give much thought on this song before, since it’s not so popular. I so envy you to have the chance to see Ben live.

        • Well — I’ve added my best guess for the lyrics, Danica! Feel free to message me if you think there are changes. musicismyfirstlanguage@gmail.com 🙂

          • Thank you so much for posting lyrics!! Ben is my favorite musician by far and I love him and his music. I was also thinking that maybe for the line “Seems there’s any range you go on hiding, fuel the fire within” it might actually be “Seems if there’s any rage you go on hiding”? Just what it sounds like to me! Thanks again!

  5. excellent interpretation of the song!!
    I honestly don’t know how people live with out opening themselves to music either.
    I for one wouldn’t be sane if I couldn’t play music :p
    THANK YOU for sharing!! 😀 lovely to see ben howard fans around and about 🙂

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